Pleasure in pain: how shared discomfort can bring us closer together

Each winter in Hobart, Tasmania, hundreds of people strip naked at dawn, rush into the frigid Derwent River, and emerge shrieking, shivering — and strangely, smiling.

Now, a new study led by social psychologist Dr Laura Ferris from The University of Queensland suggests this annual act of voluntary suffering — the Dark Mofo solstice swim — does more than test the limits of human resilience. It might actually bring people closer together.

“We hear a lot about ‘trauma bonding’ and how shared adversity brings people together, but our research showed something further,” says Ferris.

“Pleasure, rather than pain, came up as the strongest predictor of whether participants in these events felt bonded with each other.”

The study, published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, explores what people gain from sharing aversive — unpleasant or uncomfortable — experiences. And it turns out that pleasure derived from discomfort is a key driver of social connection.

This paradoxical phenomenon, where pain can feel good, is biochemical, according to the study. Pain can activate the body’s endogenous opioid system, triggering a kind of natural high once the discomfort fades.

Cold swim getty
Credit: Getty.

The research team, including scholars from UQ’s School of Psychology, the Australian National University and the University of Melbourne, conducted fieldwork across multiple years at Tasmania’s infamous Dark Mofo festival.

“The Dark Mofo solstice swim is a gathering of hundreds of strangers on the shores of the Derwent River in winter, who run naked into the freezing cold water at sunrise,” says Ferris.

Participants were surveyed both before and after their icy dip and found a notable boost in feelings of social connection post-swim.

“People also told us about whether they felt pain and pleasure during the swim,” says Ferris. “And those who rated their swim as pleasurable also felt more social connection with the other people around them.”

Cold swim group getty
Researchers have found that pleasure derived from shared discomfort is a key driver of social connection. Credit: Getty.

To test this further, the researchers turned their attention to a very different — but equally intense — festival event: the visceral art installation ‘150.Action’ by Austrian artist Hermann Nitsch. The 2017 performance sparked significant controversy for its confronting content, which included mock crucifixions, animal carcasses, and performance artists writhing in the remains. 

“While not physically painful, this was intentionally unpleasant with the performative destruction of an animal carcass, spattered blood and very loud immersive dirge music,” Ferris says. 

The participants in this event — some of whom found it deeply discomforting — were also surveyed. Interestingly, those who took the plunge into the icy Derwent were significantly more likely to report pleasure and stronger feelings of social belonging than those who endured the art performance.

“Of the two events, participants in the swim – although they likely experienced more physical pain – were significantly more likely to report pleasure and a stronger boost in social identification with their group,” says Ferris.

So why do we line up for events like these — freezing swims, chilli-eating contests, horror films, or haunted houses? It might be thanks to a psychological phenomenon known as benign masochism.

“This is what psychologists call benign masochism,” says Ferris. “Some of these experiences are painful but also enjoyable.”

Whether it’s the capsaicin kick of a chilli, the adrenaline of a bungee jump, or the icy shock of a solstice swim, there’s something addictive about these experiences — and something connective, too.

“Our findings suggest pleasure plays a significant role in why people might chase that feeling – and this helps us feel connected to others,” says Ferris.

So next time you find yourself wondering why you are voluntarily signing up for something cold, spicy, terrifying, or gross, it might not just be for the thrill. It could be your brain’s way of growing closer together. 

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